10 Cultural Differences You Don’t Expect in a British-Nigerian Marriage (and How We Make It Work)
Being British and Nigerian means blending two vibrant worlds, and for some clashing over food, time, or family! Here are ten cultural differences we’ve discovered in our British-Nigerian marriage and how we’ve learned to embrace them.
When we got married, we knew that being from two different worlds, a British girl from Hertfordshire and a Port Harcourt Nigerian man, would make life interesting.
What we didn’t realise was just how many little surprises awaited us along the way. From food to family, from communication styles to wedding traditions, we’ve laughed (and occasionally compromised) our way through it all, and come out stronger for it.
Here are ten cultural differences that caught us off guard, and how we’ve learned to embrace them together.
1. Family Means Different Things
In my British world, “family” often means the people in your household, plus aunts, uncles, some distant cousins. In Nigeria, family seems to include everyone who’s ever met your parents!
What I’ve learned: community and extended family are central to Nigerian life. It can feel overwhelming at first, I remember I would get annoyed being called ‘our wife’, but it also means you’re surrounded by support, stories, and love.
Tip: In Nigeria, learn to call people ma, sir, uncle, auntie etc. In the UK, learn to call people by their first name. It shows respect in both cultures.
2. Food Is Love (and Spice Is Mandatory!)
My husband still laughs at how I used to call the most mildest curry “spicy.” I’ve had to really learn to build on my spice tolerance, and it’s still a work in progress!
Nigerian meals are a sensory experience, flavour, heat, and togetherness. British meals, on the other hand, can be considered bland, and consist of meat, potatoes and boiled veg.
Whilst Dammy has found it difficult to embrace British food, I have found it much easier to enjoy dishes such as Egusi, jollof rice, pepper soup and yam, and more! I’ve even added a British twist by having Egusi soup with mash potato! One of my favourites.
Tip: Try each other’s food, learn to cook each other’s favourite dishes, and remember it can be a lot for someone to enjoy another culture’s food when the tastes are very different.
3. Time Has Different Meanings
Ah, “African time.” It’s real. I had to teach my husband very quickly that I can’t tolerate being late for anything, video calls, school drop offs, parties, appointments. It took him a little while to realise I wasn’t joking and that it was a big culture difference!
What I’ve learned: time in Nigeria is more flexible, it’s about presence, not punctuality. I’ll never forget going to a Nigerian birthday party and I messaged the lady to say we was running really late (45 minutes late!) only to get to the party and we was early! The birthday girl came nearly an hour later! The quickness of me deleting that message when we got to the party! lol
Tip: Laugh about it, and understand. For some being on time is really important! and it’s important to be on time for your British partner if you’re scheduling video calls, date nights etc. However if you’re going to a Nigerian celebration, its totally acceptable to be late!
4. Communication Styles Clash
British politeness meets Nigerian directness, need I say more?
I’ve learned that when he says ‘quickly’, or ‘give me water’ he’s not being rude; he’s being honest and direct. Nigerians often value truth over tact, while Brits tend to wrap feedback in ten layers of politeness.
We have both adapted to each other’s style and don’t take offence, I’m more open, and he’s more polite! I’ve definitely taught him some please and thank you’s along the way.
Tip: Talk about your communication styles early. Misunderstandings usually aren’t about love, just language.
5. Celebrations Are on a Different Level
If you’ve ever been to a Nigerian wedding, or birthday you know: British parties end when the invite says so! Nigerian parties end when the spirit says so, and it’s all about the adults and the food!
There’s music, dancing, colour, and everyone is part of the joy. The games at kids birthday parties are for the adults! The food is for the adults!
Tip: Don’t just attend, participate. Join in, wear the colours, and enjoy the vibe.
6. Money Conversations Are Different
British people rarely talk openly about money. Nigerians… do!
At first, it shocked me when my husband would get so many messages from family, friends, course mates giving their account number for him to send money. Now I see it’s cultural and expected. However it’s important to discuss together how you both feel about sending money. For us as a couple we both agreed his mother was the only person who would receive money.
Tip: Set shared financial goals, but also understand that generosity may mean different things to each of you. You have to find what works for you and your partner.
7. Faith and Tradition Intertwine
In many Nigerian families, faith is part of daily life, prayer, church, gratitude.
I accepted my husbands faith, though found it difficult to share the values of God, Jesus, Pastors and the church as I believed in something different. We have been able to accept each other’s beliefs and have often shared the same opinions on such from a deeper perspective.
Tip: Explore each other’s spiritual rhythms, they often reveal deeper values. You don’t need to believe in the same faith to make your relationship work.
8. Fashion and Expression
Nigerian’s will dress up! For any occassion! British people will dress up for celebrations, but not on the same scale as Nigerian’s.
Colour, style, pride, it’s beautiful. When Dammy first came here he was shocked to see how we dress even on the school runs, basic attire! Same sh*t, different day kinda vibe.
Nigerian’s will dress well and love good quality clothing! Their traditional attire is also stunning, I’m yet to try a traditional piece on for myself! Maybe when we go to Nigeria.
Tip: Dress up every now and then! You’re husband will appreciate it!
9. Gender Roles and Expectations
This one’s delicate. In Nigerian culture, traditional gender roles can still be strong, in British culture, equality and independence have become core.
Dammy knew from early on how independant I was and that I wasn’t a housewife kinda girl where I would be expected to raise the kids, cook, clean the house. We share the responsibilities equally and pick up for each other on the days when one of us is more tired.
Tip: Build your own rhythm. You’re not choosing one culture over another, you’re creating your own. Learnt to adapt and understand and find balance between the two!
10. Love Looks Different — But Feels the Same
Whether it’s through gifts, service, or words, how we express love can vary, but the heart behind it is the same.
What’s beautiful is that intercultural love teaches you empathy, patience, and creativity.
Tip: Keep learning each other’s love languages. They evolve as you grow.
Love Without Borders
The beauty of a British-Nigerian marriage is that it’s full of discovery. Every day is a chance to learn something new, about your partner, your cultures, and yourself.
Love without borders isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. The differences don’t divide us, they deepen our connection.
