The Small Things That Changed My Life in an Intercultural Relationship
People often think intercultural relationships are all about the big differences…
the culture, the traditions, the distance.
But for me, it’s actually been the small things that have changed my life the most.
Before I Met My Husband
Before I met Dammy, my life was very… routine.
It was just me, the kids, and my closest friends. We had just come out of lockdown, and even then there were still so many restrictions. Life felt quite simple — very much your typical British lifestyle.
Food-wise, I wasn’t adventurous at all.
I wouldn’t even touch spice
My go-to meals were things like:
spaghetti bolognese
jacket potatoes
roast dinners
fish and chips
And culturally?
I hadn’t been around Nigerian culture at all. I had been around other people from different African cultures - Ghanaians, Kenyans, and South Africans … but Nigerian culture wasn’t something I’d really been exposed to before.
So stepping into this world was completely new for me.
The Food I Never Thought I’d Eat
I think food has been one of the biggest changes in my life.
The first time I ever tried cooking a Nigerian dish was actually during a long-distance date night… I made plantain porridge.
Now, I’m pretty sure it didn’t taste anything like how Dammy would make it
but he was impressed with how it looked!
When I travelled to Ivory Coast to meet him, that’s when I really started trying different foods.
The first proper dish I remember loving was stew and rice.
I also tried:
indomie noodles
oil rice
beans and plantain
Everything was so flavourful… but WOW, it was spicy
There were definitely foods I never thought I’d try.
Beans?
Rice with banana?
That would have been a no from me before
And fish! I used to only really eat salmon, tuna and cod. Now I’ve tried so many different types — and I love them. Especially when they’re slightly dried.
In fact, Dammy is always complaining because I somehow manage to pick out all the fish from the food
What I Love Now
Now? My favourites are completely different.
It’s 10000% egusi soup for me.
And chicken pepper soup with yam.
Those two dishes have become proper comfort food for me.
I’d honestly choose them over my old British favourites any day.
And yes… I eat egusi with mash
Definitely not traditional, but I suppose it’s my way of blending both cultures — and it actually works so well!
The Way We Speak
Even though we both speak English, we don’t always understand each other
There are so many moments where one of us will say something and the other is just like…
“huh?? what did you say?”
We laugh about it a lot and tease each other.
I’ve also picked up little phrases without even realising.
One that stands out is:
“doing nonsense”
It’s funny because I don’t even think about it anymore — it just slips into everyday conversation.
The Little Things That Make You Laugh
There are also the little everyday differences…
Like why does he use EVERY pot when cooking??
That one still confuses me.
But those are the things that actually make it fun.
How It Changed Me
Being in an intercultural relationship has made me so much more open-minded.
Not just about food or language — but about life in general.
It’s made me realise:
what’s normal to me isn’t normal to someone else
and vice versa
We’re all shaped by how we grow up, our culture, and our experiences.
And honestly… that’s what makes people so interesting.
The Best Part
My favourite thing about being in an intercultural relationship?
We’re always learning.
From each other, with each other…
and it never feels boring.
There’s always something new to experience, to understand, to laugh about.
If You’re In (or Considering) One
Go for it.
But take the time to learn:
how each other communicates
each other’s culture
and where you both come from
You don’t have to agree with everything.
You don’t have to like everything.
But if you’re open to learning from each other…
that’s where the magic is.
